


Millie Fitzsimmons x Reader shite

by xXCandyAcidXx



Category: Five Nights at Freddy's
Genre: F/F, Multi, idk I still can't do tags right but I hope yall find this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-02
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 05:09:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27345601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xXCandyAcidXx/pseuds/xXCandyAcidXx
Summary: Hello! if you've got a crush on the adorable Millie Fitzsimmons (like me), then consider checking this out!
Relationships: Millie/Reader
Kudos: 5





	1. A/N

Hey yall! I decided to take a small break from the Lefty x Reader right now (Don't worry, it's coming along! Chapters will be out soon!) just because I've been obsessed with Millie. If you haven't read the first Fazbear Frights book, or at least the story Count the Ways, then you may not know who I'm talking about, or there may be some spoilers for you along! If you haven't read it, I'd really recommend checking this video out: [youtu.be/PrdKNYRW7Fg](https://youtu.be/PrdKNYRW7Fg)

And if you haven't seen the amazing music video! Which, I will be basing Millie's appearance mainly on, here!  
[youtu.be/yOblT0Q_XAU](https://youtu.be/yOblT0Q_XAU)

But yeah! I might do one shots here, headcanons, maybe scenarios, or just pure thirsting because I won't lie  
This is mainly self indulgent and I have a big crush on her

I will warn you now, this may be a bit of a female reader unless you request anything to a different gender, I'll probably write from a female point of view

But yeah! So if you're ready for all of that, hope you enjoy! 

And I do take requests!


	2. Purple

**Warning: Suicide mention. There might be quite a few warnings throughout this book a little so idk if I might include one each time.**

There she was. Millicent Fitzsimmons. The girl that I deemed to be the most perfect girl in the world. She was intelligent and kind and even funny sometimes. I don't know her personally, but I have been going to school with her for a while. She is everything to me. 

Don't take this the wrong way though, I'm not like a yandere or something. I've just got a really big crush on her. Enormous crush on her actually. Oh how I desperately wished I had the guts to talk to her and be her friend at least. She was so different and beautiful, but always so lonely. I had no idea what was wrong with the kids at this school. They're the reason she is so miserable, picking on her and calling her names just because she's different. I like different. I wish she was happier. At times, I would reach out anonymously to see if she was doing okay. Like a letter I wrote to her a while ago, stating that I was someone at school and wanted to know if she was okay. She hadn't replied, maybe because she had no idea who to make it out to. That was a big whoops on my end. 

To tell you about myself, I'm (Y/N). I'm a strange teenage girl I guess. Or so I've been told. I guess you can say I'm antisocial, but it really is because people just avoid me. I don't feel sad because of it, not anymore. It's just what it is. And if there was a meter for liking kids things and liking goth things, I'd be right smack dab in the middle. I'm mostly known for wearing dark clothes and baggy pajamas to school. I admire Millie because she has the confidence to even wear makeup. She dresses so nice. I carry around toys and draw very well. Usually you might find me playing with my viewmaster or kaleidoscope, or drawing Millie and thinking about her. How nice it would be. I have even gone as far as keeping a notebook about her. I know it sounds kind of creepy, but it really isn't. I'm just a forgetful person at times and I don't ever want to forget a person like Millie. It's really just date ideas, what to say what not to say, things that she likes and doesn't like. I know she's a vegetarian and she doesn't like meat. I know that she likes victorian memorial jewelry and poems and morbid stories. And death. Which brings me to another reason I think about her.

I worry for Millie. I worry a lot for her. I can't tell if she really is suicidal or not, but she seems so mopey and down all the time. I wish I could just take her away and make her happy and spoil her with things she likes. Besides death of course. I like scary things and have often even thought about death a few times myself. Though I really just thought about what comes after. Sometimes, I was so scared some nights that Millie might just stop showing up to school. If only I could just tell her that someone cares, and that someone thinks about her and wants her to be happy and will help her and listen to her. She is everything to me. Shame on Hannah for ever leaving such a beautiful and interesting person. Which brings me to a third point.

Not only is Millie different and witty, but she is adorable. She had a light milky complexion, the color of a blushing white peach. Her hair was spun of a dark, rich plum and the way her bangs slightly dangled in front of her eyes drove me crazy. Her eyes were a perfect mix between doe sized and almond like. They were a shiny greenish hazel, and her eyeliner carefully applied everyday, along with the natural dark lipstick she would add to her pretty lips just accentuated the youthful and grim beauty she had. Her nose was a cute pink button and I notice her knuckles and ears are a pink peachy color as well. Mille has a full body blush. Her wardrobe was dark with pops of color at times, and she'd wear the small array of jewelry I noticed she had. Millie was perfect. Which is why I was so shy to talk to her. Even now, a year or so later. We had spoken once or twice in the past before in school. About assignments and such. I cherish those moments and hold them special to my heart. And when she smiles?

She isn't like anything you had ever seen.

When Millie smiles, she lights up the whole world. It's so refreshing to see her happy enough to smile. Although it is the white whale in my life I hope to see more often, I think about the rare times it has happened. 

Reality gently lured me away from my thoughts as I noticed Millie finishing her lunch and getting up from the table she sat alone at. I sat at a table near her, close enough to see her but not close enough to let her see me. I looked down at the sketchbook I had plopped down on table, my drawing of her unfinished. Millie had such a cute face, it was hard not to stare. Luckily, she never caught me. She was always busy reading or writing. I wondered if she liked H.P Lovecraft. Maybe I could get her a book. It was December after all. Not too long before Christmas arrives. Millie never really seemed to care much for Christmas, but any excuse to get her a gift without her suspecting something was good for me. Oh well, I'll dwell on it later. Time to go back to my classes and... think about Millie more. Don't worry, I do good in school though. I wonder if Millie does. We only have two classes together. Though she's so quiet, I wonder if the teacher notices her. I certainly do. Maybe if she doesn't do well in a class... I could be her tutor. Then we'd spend time together. The thought made my heart race and the butterflies in my stomach soar. But after a while, she'd get better and wouldn't need me anymore. But if we become friends, we could talk outside of school! 

I nearly had to hold back a squeal before sighing a bit in disappointment. Gotta stop daydreaming, gotta get to class. I was shoving my sketchbook into my bag before noticing the mood ring on my finger. It glowed a bright purple. The color of passion.


	3. Blue

After getting home from school, I was finishing the sketch I had of Millie in my bedroom while I put on my tv, Jessie Vee's Twisted Nostalgia series. It's where I got most of my toy collection ideas. I like to collect dolls and stuffed animals. My shelf of collections of things held many dolls. There were stuffed animals all over my bed. I had those glow in the dark stars decorated on my ceiling. At some point, I'd like to get some white lights in here. I don't know why, I just have an interest in little kid things I guess. And creepy things. So if you combine those two together, I'm all for it. It's why I liked Invader Zim and Courage the Cowardly Dog so much despite it scarring me when I was younger. _Return the slaaab._ I wondered what Millie was doing at this hour. Was she reading? Doing homework? Was she listening to music or writing poems?

After finishing dinner and my homework, my eyelids felt very heavy as I just scrolled through a few things on my tablet. I had been thinking about Millie all day, as usual. Though today, I really thought of a gift I could get her for Christmas for how fast it was approaching. I know she likes Curt Carrion and Edgar Allen Poe's stories. Oh how I wanted to spoil her but my mind drifted back to the fact that I only had about 20 dollars. Maybe if I do a few extra chores around the house for some more money, I could get something nice for her. Nonetheless, I put my tablet down on my bedside table and yawned, pulling my blanket over myself. I loved sleeping. And I loved dreaming. I dreamed about Millie.

If there was anything I was proud of on my body, it was my hair. My hair was a bit of a strange type due to my dad's genetics clashing with my mom, it's made this weird fluffy dark brown type. I was proud of it because I tamed it and was growing it out. Shiny, healthy scalp, long hair shaft and trimmed ends. I want to grow my hair out to the floor. I guess it's some kind of coping mechanism. Whenever I get lonely or stressed, I pamper myself. Showers with all kinds of lotions and moisturizers after. I wondered what Millie's coping mechanism was. Was it getting lost in books? Writing her thoughts out? I take real care for my hair. Often times, I leave it down just because putting it up all the time can damage it. However, I was often thinking of ways to get Millie to notice me as well. At least, just to stand out from the crowd a little bit to her. Maybe some day.

After contemplating my appearance for a while, I just shrugs and put in a few tiny braids, held with little beads. That was kind of interesting. I like it. It was something different. A bit pirate like but you know what, I like pirates. I shrugged again, heading into the kitchen to get a few things to go of to school. The car rides to school to me felt nice. I was going somewhere I liked to go to. I looked forward to. You should know why by now. I spent more time thinking about how to get more money and what to get Millie. It's hard to know what she has already though. Maybe if I could just find out some way. Or just man up and ask her myself for once. Maybe I will do that. I was feeling confident today. How hard could it be?

Turns out, it's hard.

During lunch, I was kind of surprised to see another person sitting with Millie. Someone I hadn't seen before. Was he new? Why was he talking to her? He had glasses, red hair, and a leather jacket on. Why was he sitting with her? I scooted just a tad closer to hear what they were talking about. Imaginary friends?  
I can't describe this feeling this guy gave me. He gave me bad vibes. He was ruining my zen. And my plans. Just so happens that I had the guts and was prepared and going to sit down at Millie's table, and he shows up.  
Dylan? His name is Dylan? This conversation they had was about some horror writers. Which I found out Millie has never read Lovecraft. So maybe I could get her a book then! Oh, now they're talking about jewelry. The memorial jewelry that Millie wore. She has a favorite? Jewelry made from the hair of a dead person? I need to write that down-

Then this thought was blinded by the jealousy and anger I was not prepared to feel. Who was this guy? Did Millie like him? Are they going to be friends? What if...

No, don't think of that. You still have a chance (Y/N). Don't think of him. They'll just be friends, that's it.

My mind started cluttering itself with horrible thoughts. I tried not to think about them, but it was hard. I wasn't even listening to their conversation anymore. It hadn't even occurred to me that I actually put my head on the table and started grasping my hair.

What if they get together?  
No, they won't.  
Why should I feel so bad about this guy? What if he will only be just a friend?  
That's fine.  
And if not?  
Not like Millie will like him.  
But... what if she does?

I looked up, starting to feel the threat of tears coming down. I tried to hold it in so nobody would come over and ask what's wrong.

What if she does like him?

I sucked in a deep breath and dabbed at my eyes with the sleeve of my oversized gray sweater I wore today that I loved to pieces.

..If Millie does like him, then he'll be making her happy.  
And I like when she's happy. I want her to be happy.

I sighed.

Then who am I to stop that?

Don't give up hope, (Y/N), you still have a chance.

After a severe mood swing and a session of bad thoughts swarming my head, I wasn't feeling so good. I gazed at the mood ring on my hand. Amber. The color of nervousness and unhappiness. Great. I sighed deciding to head to the bathroom after lunch just before class started. To maybe just wash my hands and try to feel better. It only got worse as I stepped in and noticed Millie just walking out of a stall to wash her hands. I could feel my heart drop to my feet and my throat closing up just a tad bit. Should I let this chance go to waste?

No, I won't.

Sucking up all my sadness, I walked over to the sink next to hers, taking off my mood ring and slipping it into my pocket before starting to wash my hands as well. I kept trying to discreetly glance at her to search for something to compliment her about. I could compliment her about anything. I could compliment her about _everything._ But now that I'm ready to do so, my mind is empty and my heart is pounding. Was it obvious how nervous I was? I certainly hope not. Then it came to me now that I'm actually gazing at her closer.

"Hey."

Millie seemed a bit aloof at first before noticing me next to her with a slight surprise.

"...Hey."

I gave her my best smile without bursting into tears or squealing.

"I like your eyeliner. It looks nice today. Little cat wing."

Millie's comfortable frown seemed to soften a little as she looked at me and my heart just about leaped.

"...Thanks. I like your braids."

I blinked a bit, as I could feel my face heating up and a stupid smile spread across my face. I looked away as she was done and left the bathroom. I bit my lip to keep from screaming and I nearly fell over, feeling my legs turn into jelly. I grabbed my mood ring out of my pocket after drying my hands and slipped it back on, before noticing the color. A deep blue. The color of romance and charged emotions.

I do have a chance after all.


	4. Violet

After school, I couldn't stop thinking about Millie. She just swarmed my mind worse than usual. She said she liked my braids! This is big! She had looked at me with such softness. Oh this was amazing. Those big hazel eyes... Immediately after I got home, I went quickly to my room and got out the notebook I kept on her from my backpack. I flipped open to a new page, taking out a pencil as well, writing down that she has never read Lovecraft and that her favorite Victorian jewelry was made from a dead person's hair. If I could look online for some, maybe I could take that as a gift. Though, I do recall her saying that they're expensive. I thought for a bit, nibbling on my pencil before putting it down and getting up from my bed, going to my parent's room. 

"Hey mom?"  
"Yeah babe?"  
"Do you think that maybe I could do a few extra chores for some more money?"  
My mom looked up from her crossword puzzle book, looking puzzled at me.  
"What for?"  
"Well.. Christmas is coming up and... I'd like to get a gift for someone."  
She raised an eyebrow at me but then gave a slight shrug.  
"Alright. Better not be too expensive."  
  
I nodded, feeling much better. If I could just work up a larger allowance, I could definitely get Millie something. I went back to my room and opened my laptop, starting to look around on eBay for Victorian mourning jewelry made with hair. Turns out, one jewelry piece is about $70-$80. I thought about it for a bit. Judging by the allowance my parents gave me for doing chores, which was usually $20, $30 if it was good, I could do two days of nothing but just chores and full work. Millie is worth it. I scrolled a bit more before finding a large hair pendant. It matched the jet earrings she wore. It was perfect. About $75, if I could do the work for that in maybe two days, I could definitely get this necklace in time for Christmas. I smiled and bookmarked the page, ready to get cleaning. After that, I quickly did my homework, it was pretty easy because as I said, I do good in school. That, and we don't get much homework. Then after _that_ was done. I was ready to begin my chores. It's worth it.

The entire day, I worked from noon to evening. I scrubbed, cleaned, did the dishes, I did everything. Even the chores I hated doing and never did. My mother was even impressed. My father got home from work and thought the place looked great. It'll pay off and I'll get Millie something she likes. It was perfect. However, I underestimated how straining it would be. I threw myself onto my bed late at night, finally glad to have some comfort on my back. But I sighed happily, thinking of Millie and her reaction once I get her that gift. I hope she'll be happy. I didn't think much as my eyelids closed and I fell into a heavy slumber.

The next day at school, I studied my appearance in the mirror. I did my usual morning and skincare routine, even went as far as putting in a leave-in-conditioner that made my hair silky. I put in a rose gold headband and two tiny braids with beads behind my ear so they dangled around my neck. I thought about doing more off them but she might think something was up. I even dressed a bit nicer. Still keeping with black though. Satisfied, I left the bathroom and grabbed my things, heading into the car for school.

As soon as lunch came around, I went to my usual spot. I was very excited today to see her, I don't know why. Then again, I always was. Millie walked in. Why, she looked gorgeous today. She always did but, it seems she was a little dressed up. She was like a princess as she waited at her table expectantly. What was she waiting for? A few minutes later and I had gathered up the courage to get up and sit down at her table. That is, until.. he showed up. Dylan. I nearly forgot about him. My heart stopped. Millie was waiting for him. She was waiting for Dylan. She got dressed up for Dylan. Oh no...  
I decided to listen to their conversation again to see if I can find out more about her. Oh. Dylan got her something. Dylan got her an H.P Lovecraft book. Great, there's a gift idea out the window. Whatever, my mind was set on getting her that pendant. Then I noticed her smile. It was a little smile, but it was there. And that alone was enough to melt away a few bad vibes. But she's smiling because of Dylan. I sighed, looking away.

You still have a chance, remember?  
I know but it's hard to think about anything else.  
Remember what we said yesterday too.  
If Dylan makes her happy, then that makes me happy.  
And I could still be her friend.  
I could.  
Yeah, that'll work.

But through all this reasoning, my heart ached. I wanted more than that. I wanted so much more than that. All this time, I thought about the day that I could hold Millie close and tell her everything is okay. I could look Millie in the eyes and say to her how she means the world to me. But will that day ever come? I looked at my mood ring which shown a dim gray. The rarest color of all. Gray. The color of anxiety and strain.

After the school day was over, I was walking to the part of the parking lot that my mom picked me up at. Millie sometimes walked through here, but I was usually earlier than she was. Not today. I dragged on a bit, my pace slow and unbouncy. It was obvious I was down. I looked up and glanced at her just as she glanced at me. She was so happy, the gleam in her eyes sparkled and she even waved at me. I could feel a subconscious smile grow as I waved back. My mood lifted a little as a small tingle of hope shown within me. She's noticed me again. She remembered who I was. She doesn't just wave at people. She remembered me from yesterday. After I got in my mom's car, and after her questions about how school went, I couldn't help but notice my mood ring. A small, deep violet color started piercing through the gray. The color of extreme happiness and hope.


	5. A slow blooming rose

It was Saturday morning and I started doing my chores early after doing my self care routine. It was often times like this I would think about Millie and I would draw things that reminded me of her. I liked drawing. A lot of the other kids around me complimented my art when they saw it. I used to take art class but didn't sign up for it anymore after seeing how it sort of drained me of my creativity and my joy to draw. Never do something that starts to deplete your love for what you enjoy. I love swimming and I tried out for the swim team once at the start of the year. There were numerous reasons why I couldn't come through with it, but one of them was that. Just a week of practices and I was dreading swimming. But I love swimming. And I loved Millie. That's why I was doing chores for her. After a while, the house was completely spotless once everybody else woke up. I was exhausted, laying on my bed now but I will get the money to buy Millie's gift. Speaking of, I wonder what she's doing right now. It was about brunch time. Then my mom came in, seemingly ready to go somewhere and gave me my well earned $60.  
  
"Whoever this is, they're pretty special huh?"  
I smiled before realizing something.  
"Actually mom, it's from online. I need to order this online. It's about $75, and I can give you my 20 dollars. Can I borrow your card?"  
She raised her eyebrow at me. "Yeah, here."  
She fiddled with her wallet for a moment before handing me her card.  
"What is it you're getting this person?"  
I went over to my laptop, opening up my browser to the eBay page.  
"Well... something special. She likes Victorian mourning jewelry but she said she could never afford her favorite kind."  
"Hm.. what's her name?"  
"Millie. Or Millicent."  
"Are you sure she's not _from_ the Victorian era?"  
"Mom."  
My mom let out a chuckle.  
"I need that card back though. Your dad and I are running a few errands."  
"Yeah, no problem. I got it."

I quickly added the pendant to my cart, my cheeks starting to hurt from how much I was smiling. I quickly put in my shipping information. It should be here in 2 days, that's not bad! Maybe I could give it to Millie before winter break. Then my mind wondered to another event. Our school is having a holiday bazaar before break starts. I was planning to go because of free food but, will Millie be there?  
After I ordered the pendant with giddy joy, I handed the card and my twenty dollars to my mom and she waved me goodbye, leaving me in my room.  
I leaped onto my bed and started giggling and squealing into my pillow. All of my hard work had paid off! Now I could get Millie a gift, something she liked! Then a thought occurred to me. What about Dylan? Was he going to get her a gift? What if he and Millie go to the holiday bazaar together?  
I was too happy currently to let those thoughts get to me. So what! I'm getting Millie something she likes and wants! From there our friendship could definitely lift itself off it's feet! I sighed happily, slipping into a daydream about Millie. Now the worst part. Waiting.

It turned out to be a calm Saturday that I was happy with. I hoped Millie was happy too. She seems so much more positive lately, it made my heart soar. Even if it was because of Dylan, I'm so glad she's so much happier. Once afternoon rolled around, I decided to go to the park near my house. It was only a five minute walk and all I really did was play on the swings and roller skate on the concrete. Taking my roller skates over my shoulder and my phone, I started walking to the park. Little did I know I would run into a certain special someone. As I'm walking, her voice started drifting me from my thoughts. I hadn't even noticed her at first but she was behind me and I stopped and turned.  
And she looked at me. Millie did. She caught my attention. She wanted my attention.

"Hey." She said.  
I could feel my heart start pounding and the butterflies in my stomach flutter.  
"Hey."  
She seemed a bit more positive as she was dressed nicely, as always. But her eyes seemed so much more lively. Her attitude was even less down. I could barely contain my excitement but I smiled.  
"You're (Y/N), right?"  
I nodded a bit too enthusiastically.  
"Yup. That's me. Hi Millie."  
A small smile tugged at the corner of her lips and I just about died.  
"...I just wanted to say thank you for not picking on me or calling me Dracula's Daughter... or Silly Millie."  
She grimaced a bit and I shook my head, waving it off.  
"Oh it's nothing. You don't need to thank me for that. I'm just being a decent human being.. unlike those guys. They belong on a cactus."  
Millie looked at me, a bit puzzled and I had to bite back a laugh.  
"They're pricks."  
Me and her actually started snickering together. I can't describe the feeling I had. Her laugh was so pleasant and she was smiling. I nearly doubled over. Her face turned a bit red from it.  
Once we slowed down into small giggles, she sort of stayed silent, still kind of smiling. I died.  
"Well, I'm going to the library downtown."  
I nodded.  
"I noticed you like reading. You ever read The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde?"  
"I've heard of the story but I never actually read the original."  
"Oh it's great. It's a bit boring in the beginning and a little hard to read but if you go to the library, a copy should be there. The ending is awesome."  
She nodded, taking a strand of hair behind her ear, allowing me to see her jet earrings. It reminded me of the pendant and another thought occurred to me.

  
I cleared my throat, starting to realize how this might sound.  
"I um... I was wondering if you're gonna go to that holiday bazaar next week.."  
Millie had a slight look of contemplation, and a bit of disgust before shrugging.  
"I wasn't really planning to go. Kinda seemed.. I don't know, too cheery for my tastes."  
I nod. "I can understand that. I don't like being around a lot of people either. I'm really only going for free food. But if you'll be there... I mean, you can always look for me."  
Millie raised her eyebrow at me, suspiciously. "Why do you ask me?"  
My heart just about stopped and I could feel my head hang a little.  
"Well I.. I think you're a cool person but I never got the chance to talk to you. So I mean.. if you'll go, on your own choice of course, maybe we could hang out there?"  
Millie was silent for a moment before seemingly fighting off a smile.  
"Sure. I'll think about it."  
My legs just about gave out then and I smiled and nodded.  
"Great! Now don't let me get in the way of your dark literature adventure."

  
I scooted out of the way and she laughed and waved me bye before starting to walk again.  
I felt ecstatic. I can't even describe it... what happened. But my heart was pounding and I could feel my legs again as I began running and dancing into the park. I hadn't even noticed my mood ring. It glowed a bright green slowly turning purple. The colors of passionate happiness and excitement.


	6. Green

It was only one day before the holiday bazaar and two days before winter break. I had woken up this Monday morning, feeling my heart flutter. Millie's pendant should be here! I leaped out of bed and went to check the mail outside. Just the day before I had gone to the store to get a small black, glittery gift box for this necklace topped with a little bow. Something special like this deserved to be packaged with style. To my happiness, the pendant was here! I had taken it out of the mailbox and clutched to my chest, spinning around outside before quickly heading in to package it. I had already written it to Millie, from (Y/N). Normally, I would have kept it anonymous but not today. I wanted her to know that I cared for her. Once and for all. Gotta square up. I carefully took the pendant out of it's mail packaging. It truly was a masterpiece. The work was so worth it for Millie. It was beautiful and matched her perfectly. I smiled, placing it in the box with some velvet cushioning around it I had taken from one of my dad's watch boxes. He won't miss it. Placing the top on, I sighed happily. Now my only problem was, _when_ am I going to give it to her? Ideally, I'd love to give it to her at the bazaar, but who knows if she'll be there. Then I thought I could mail it to her for Christmas, but that wouldn't work either. It might get lost or damaged that way. I'm not taking that risk. 

I was pulled from my thoughts before I realized, I need to get ready for school. I spent more time putting together Millie's gift instead of putting together myself. Whoops. Gotta hurry! I quickly rushed on a few clothes before making my way to the bathroom and quickly getting ready. I contemplated on giving it to her today, or tomorrow. Or should I just take the risk and try to give it to her at the bazaar? Time was usually with me, but not today. I needed to go to school. I could hear my mom honking from outside. I'll have to contemplate later.

o0o

Today was Tuesday. The holiday bazaar was tonight. I was freaking out even though it was still hours away. Yesterday wasn't very eventful. Just a normal day of school and thinking of Millie and getting jealous of Dylan. As it is the norm now. I was wide awake before my alarm clock laying in bed, staring at my ceiling. I could just hear my heart pounding with excitement. I needed to get up and get ready though. First I trudged to the bathroom a bit groggily and cleaned my face with a face wash. After that, I did a mask on my face and a nourishing mask for my hair while I put on a body butter and drank some water. After washing the masks off and moisturizing my face, as well as conditioning my hair to be silky smooth, I was pleased with the results. My skin was dewy soft and my hair was healthy. It was time to get dressed. I had debated on my outfit the night before since the bazaar was tonight. I'll just wear to the bazaar what I'll wear to school. I left the bathroom, getting out the outfit I had planned once back in my room. I had no ugly Christmas sweater or nothing too festive. I put on high-waist jeans, a moss green long sleeve shirt, my knitted black pancho, and my pretty bloodstone pendant over that. Oh well, it was the chilly season. It'll do. I put it in a few tiny braids in my hair, decorated with green and red wooden beads again. I was putting perfume on, my emotions fluttering as I thought back to Millie. I really hope she'll be there at that holiday bazaar tonight. I know she doesn't like school events much, but maybe just this once. After getting ready, I carefully placed Millie's gift in my bag. It'll be safe and I hope she'll like it. Off to school I go!

The day so far was pleasant along with chilly, grim weather. I loved weather like this. My favorite was stormy and rainy. I wondered if Millie liked rain. I had been walking to the cafeteria. Though I felt confident at the start of the day, my giddy excitement and nervousness was back. A swarm of questions came through my head as I thought back to the special gift. Should I give it to Millie now? Will I even have the guts to? What if Dylan asks about it? Will Millie be weirded out? Should I ask her if she'll be at the bazaar? 

As always, I chickened out and watched as Millie and Dylan talked to each other. I decided to distract myself by just playing with my kaleidoscope and doodling small things in my notebook. I hadn't learned too many things about Millie. Dylan talked more than she did. I did learn that she apparently wanted to be a librarian. I had written that down right after. Then a realization had come to me that she was thinking of the future. She wasn't thinking of death anymore. This means she was happy, and that was all I had ever wanted for her. I could feel my throat close up as I had been wanting her to be happy. Maybe I shouldn't be so hard on Dylan, he did change her life. I sighed happily as I gazed across the table at her.   
Right then, I nearly had a heart attack as her happy eyes suddenly darted to mine and I quickly looked away. I could feel my face heat up. But I slowly glanced back up and saw her slightly wave at me with a smile. I just about died. I shyly smiled and waved quickly back. My heart was pounding and I could feel my hands start to sweat a little. I looked at my mood ring, feeling absolutely giddy. Green. The color of happiness.

After school, I practically rushed back into the house. Did I still look okay? Will Millie be there? So many thoughts. I took a deep breath and decided to try and calm myself down by doing some homework. Until I realized I had no homework. I had walked into the living room, gazing at the Christmas tree. The lights were very nice. I sat in front of it for a while, thinking about Millie. What dating her would be like. How happy she could be. How happy she was. It would be perfect. I sighed happily and decided to watch a Christmas movie. I decided not to eat, figuring I'd eat at the bazaar in maybe an hour. So I watched the film, thinking about Millie calmly. 

About an hour gone by and my insides started fluttering for sure as I shut off the movie. I quickly freshened up in the mirror, brushing my hair and fixing my braids. I shouted from the bathroom.   
"Hey mom?"  
"Yeah babe?"  
"It's about time to go to the bazaar!"  
There was a bit of a pause. "Alright, let me get the car started."  
I squealed a little as I rushed back to my room to get my back. Quickly checking to see if I had Millie's gift, turning my phone off of silent. I was ready. I could hear my mom starting the car outside and I jumped a little.   
I hoped Millie was there. I quickly went outside to join my mom in the car. We listened to Christmas music as we drove to the school. I could barely contain myself. Millie, I'll be there.

Hey guys! Thank you so much for reading! I just wanna ask how you're liking this little series so far! Is it alright? Are there any mistakes? I take constructive criticism. Thank you so much for the support! Next chapter will be _quite_ eventful~♥


	7. The holiday bazaar

~(Y/N)~

While my mom drove me to the holiday bazaar, my mind kept going back to Millie. Will she be there? Will she like the gift? Will she be there with Dylan? As soon as the thought of Dylan came up, I grimaced and sighed, deciding to look out the window. Everybody's houses were decorated with various inflatables and lights galore. It was a pretty sight. Except for the ones that flickered and flashed too much. My mom kept the Christmas music on the stereo low as we started approaching the school. The butterflies in my stomach were going crazy as she pulled into the crowded parking lot. There were a lot of people here tonight. Will Millie be? The worried thoughts came to me. What if she really isn't here? When would I give her the gift? Will I be here for nothing? Besides food of course.

"Remember to keep your phone on okay? And call me when you wanna leave."

I nodded and gave my mom a thumbs-up before heading out of the car. The chilly weather washed over me, leaving no residual toastiness from the car where my mom kept the heater on. I walked into the school a bit timidly. It was actually quite nice the way it was festively decorated. There were tons of people here with sweaters and hats on. I looked around, trying to spot the black sheep from the crowd. I can't imagine Millie wearing a Christmas sweater or nothing festive. Or color for that matter. So it shouldn't be too hard to spot her. After a few minutes of just standing in the cafeteria and trying to look around for her, I couldn't. I sighed. Maybe I was hoping for too much. I decided to get a plate of cookies to drown my sorrows in.

~Millie~

I rushed down the hall in search of my grandpa. I was choking back tears, running into the cafeteria. I needed to get out of here. I needed to. I couldn't stay here any longer after seeing him here.. with her. It was too much. I was so sick of it. Nobody could understand me. I felt so dumb for ever believing that a boy actually liked me. They were all the same. I wasn't paying attention as I bumped into somebody. Heaving, I took a step back and looked up at them. It was that girl with the pretty hair, (Y/N). She looked surprised at me, balancing a large plate of cookies. At first she looked happy to see me. Then she saw me wipe away a few tears that dare strayed from my eyes.

"Hey hey, are you alright Millie? I was looking for you. What's wrong?"

I could barely hear her over the chatter of voices and music. Even if I wanted to answer her, my throat was too tight to do so. I gulped, trying to fight back tears.

"Why? So you could insult me? Or spread nasty rumors?!"

She looked a bit taken aback.

"...No, I never would. I only wanted to see you... what happened?"

The tears started pouring out now, it was too hard to keep it in. Why did she care? She didn't know me. I didn't know her! Why would she care about me?! At this point, I was too upset to even process or care that she wrapped one arm around my shoulders and started walking me somewhere through the crowd. My tears were blurring my vision and I couldn't hear nothing but happiness. I don't even know why I came here. I should have known better than this. This holiday bazaar was stupid. Happiness was stupid. Death was my only friend anymore...

~(Y/N)~

I carefully steered both me and Millie to a quiet place outside. It was next to the building where the moon was shining. I sat both of us down on the concrete, placing the plate of cookies I forgot I was holding down as well. My heart shattered to pieces, hearing Millie whimper and seeing her desperately trying to wipe her tears away. I wasn't sure to ask her or not if I could hug her. I did so anyway. I tried not to think about my beating heart and how actually ecstatic I was to be doing this. I carefully wrapped my arms around her, rubbing her back and somewhat caressing her hair. To my surprise, her shaky arms wrapped around me weakly as she continued to choke out sobs. I shushed her softly, glad that nobody else was outside here. This was our moment together. Once her crying slowly came down to soft sniffles, I pulled back a bit and gently tilted her head up to mine. My heart was on fire and my nervousness was immeasurable but I tried to keep calm and not so nervous. Her sad eyes bore into mine, eyeliner running a bit. 

"...What's wrong?"  
She sniffed, rubbing her nose with her sleeve. Millie took in a few deep breaths, trying to breathe normally again. I still held her closely, somewhat stroking her hair again.

"Dylan... the guy I liked... is here with another girl.. a-and it's clear they're toge-together..."

She kept pausing to sniffle and hiccuped as she talked. It honestly made me really sad seeing her like this. She was so happy. Then that _dick_ Dylan made her upset. I exhaled, thinking of something to say that doesn't completely give away my feelings for her. It was hard.

"...Well. I'm not here with anyone. Say, we could hang out together maybe.... if you'd like. Though, you probably want to go home."

Millie gave a meek shrug, still sniffling. I kinda chuckled and held up the plate of cookies to her.

"Sometimes when I'm sad, I like to eat sweets. You like cookies right?"

Millie seemed to sigh but after a moment, picked a gingerbread man off and started nibbling on it, keeping her head kind of low. I thought of some things to say to her that might get her mind off of it.

"...You know, I never took you for one to celebrate Christmas... unless you were here for a different reason."

She nodded a bit.

"I kinda figured. But hey, at least the food is free. That was the main reason I came... I was also looking for you."

Millie huffed, and raised her head a bit, sadly glaring at me.

"Why?"

I looked at her sincerely.

"...Because you're amazing Millie. I was always too shy to talk to you or make friends with you.... but you are an amazing person to me. I admire you for a ton of reasons. And to see you so upset and broken like this makes me angry. If Dylan o-or anyone else can't see how amazing you are, then they do not deserve to have you in their lives. Ever. The people that will stick around for you are forever."

I exhaled, nearly feeling my throat close up a bit. There was so much I wanted to tell her. So much I wanted to do for her... until a bit of panic washed over me. Oh god, what _did_ I say? To my surprise, she seemed to scoff, amused.

"...Sheesh, you sound like a therapist..."

I kinda laughed.

"Hey, we gotta look out for each other in times like this."

She meekly nodded and I kept silent until I remembered something. All of my jitters came back and I inhaled sharply. I took off my cross body bag and carefully pulled out the box that held Millie's special gift. Was now the time? Too late anyway, as she curiously peeked over and saw it. I exhaled nervously and looked at her, clutching the box. She looked back at me, confused.

"...I uh.. I got you this. I remember you saying something about it and... got it for you.."

I handed her the little box and she was a bit taken back as she put the half eaten cookie back down on the plate. Her shaky hands reached out to take the box. She scoffed a little.

"What is this? Why'd you get me something?"

"Because I like you. Now just open it up you doof."

That got a small chuckle out of her and she took the lid off. Her eyes went wide and her mouth dropped as she slowly pulled out the pendant. Black framed with the encased hairs of someone long gone. Her favorite piece. Her hands were shaky as she looked at it. Tears started coming down her face again as she looked up at me with a bit of shock. And happiness. I smiled.

"You liked this jewelry, right? Was debating on getting you a book or-"  
I was cut off as she pulled me into a hug abruptly, still clutching the pendant. She started sobbing again. I held her tightly.  
  
"Hey, are you alright?"  
She nodded, pulling away. Her eyes were wet, yet gleamed with happiness and a smile came over her pretty face.  
"Y-yeah I am b-but.. h-how did you know? A-And how much did it cost?" She sputtered a bit, still looking at it before looking to me. I kinda laughed.  
"That doesn't matter. What matters is you like it, right? Need me to put it on for you?"  
She nodded and handed me the necklace, turning around. She moved her hair out of the way as I gently wrapped the pendant around her, and clasped it in the back.  
She turned back around, looking at it.  
"....I love it.. thank you.. th-thank you, it's wonderful."  
"That's all I wanted to hear."  
Millie chuckled again.  
"I-It kinda makes me feel a bit bad for not getting you anything..."  
I scoffed.  
"Just hanging out with you is enough for me, don't worry about that."  
"...Where did you even get the money for this?"  
"I sell drugs. Hardcore drugs."  
Millie looked at me wide eyed and I laughed.  
"I don't! I just had to do a few extra chores around the house. Don't worry about it, it was no biggie."  
She actually giggled a little.  
"..Well thank you again.. I'm not really used to people getting me anything..."  
"..You family doesn't get you gifts?"  
"No no.. I just mean from friends."

My heart soared. Millie considered me a friend! This was more than enough for me! Christmas was turning out to be really good. I hoped the same for Millie.

We talked and talked the rest of the night. Our interests, hobbies. I helped her get over Dylan a little bit. We ate all the cookies I brought out and joked around. But finally, her tears had subsided. I helped her rub the eyeliner off that ran on her cheeks. At the end of the night, we even exchanged phone numbers. Once it was time to leave the bazaar had rolled around, we both got up and groaned after sitting down on the pavement for too long.

"So, you promise to give me a call during break?"  
Millie chuckled a little. "I promise."  
I nodded, pulling her in for one last hug.  
"..Thank you for listening to me. I'm so glad I finally got to talk to you."  
She laughed. "Thank you for helping me... the bazaar didn't turn out to be bad after all. I gotta find my grandpa now. He's probably looking for me. I'll see you at school tomorrow?"  
I nodded and pulled away, ready to part as she went back inside. I stayed outside and went around to the parking lot. I called my mom to pick me up after throwing away the empty cookie plate. As I was waiting and everyone else was leaving, I couldn't stop thinking about Millie. I could still see her smile and hear her laugh. And that was all me. I made her happy.

I made her happy.


	8. All mine

Feeling absolutely giddy from the night before, I rushed out of bed the minute my alarm clock went off. Millie was my friend! She was finally my friend! This was the greatest day of my life. She said she'd see me tomorrow! Which means she looks forward to it! Uhh, what should I do? Should I try to look nicer? No no, she'll probably think something is up.. I'll just try to dress as normal as possible. I don't want to scare the poor girl away now that I can finally talk to her. Quickly putting on some comfortable but heavy clothes seeing as it is the colder season, I went to the bathroom to tame my hair and put on some Christmas-y lotion. Putting in the small braids has practically become a habit now as I put in a few. Held by beads as always. I was fairly early today, probably from the excitement that I'll see Millie soon. Even my mom took notice as I practically skipped into the kitchen for a banana.

She sat at the table drinking coffee and looked up from her crossword puzzle book.

"You seem less tired today."

Through mouthfuls of banana, I tried to explain to my mom what happened last night before she gave me a concerned look.

"Jesus, just chew and then talk (Y/N)."

I giggled uncontrollably and swallowed.

"Okay okay, I gave that pendant to Millie, she loved it. And we ended up talking the entire night and I'm gonna see her at school today."

My mom smiled. "It's good to see you finally make some friends."

"..Yeah, especially Millie."

~

At school, I could barely contain myself as I excitedly tried to zoom through the first three periods into lunch. The two periods I have with Millie are after lunch, so I'll definitely see her then. Once lunchtime came around, I was definitely starting to feel nervous. But I didn't know why. My mind usually had an explanation, but it was completely blank. Is this what it's like to... I don't even know. I hadn't even known that I was practically stumbling in the hallway. After making it to the cafeteria and getting my tray, I looked around. Should I sit with Millie today? Would it be weird? What if I just sit at my usual table? Those thoughts immediately melted away as soon as I saw her waving me over. She looked beautiful today. Then again, she looked beautiful everyday. She was wearing the beautiful pendant today. It's clear she had taken care of her outfit today, considering she matched and was gorgeous. And... she was smiling. Millie was smiling.. as she was waving to me to sit with her. She was waving for _me._ That's it, I'm dead. I'm dead, she's absolutely perfect and I'm dead. I managed a smile and walked over to her table, sitting down. My god this is actually happening. I'm actually sitting at my crush's table. I'm sitting with _the_ Millie Fitzsimmons. My heart is gonna explode. I wondered if I looked mental to her. But she just smiled warmly at me, setting her book down.

"Hey."

I tried not to sound like I felt. Meaning; nervous.

"....Hey wassup."

Fucking idiot.

Wait no she smiled, it's okay you are not idiot.

Why am I so nervous? We literally talked all night last night. It shouldn't be this nerve-wracking, we've talked. We're friends. Bro wait, we're... friends.

Man does that thought still baffle me.

"You like the necklace?" I said, like an idiot.  
Millie looked down, starting to play withe pendant a bit. At that moment, I had noticed the pretty jet earrings she had paired with it as well dangling under her hair. I'm dying, I'm ...man she is perfect.  
"Yeah, of course I do... it's my favorite jewelry piece now."

I could feel my face blushing red.  
"Ah, well that's good. Whatcha' reading today?"  
She kinda glanced toward her book, taking a few bites of her apple slices.

"Frankenstein by Mary Shelley."

Frankenstein? She is reading Frankenstein? I'm marrying this girl I swear.

"Really? I've always loved that story. I don't know what it is in me, but I like things that are made or brought to life. Or brought _back_ to life.. I don't know why. How is it so far? I've never actually read the original."

Millie picked up her book and inspected it, like she hadn't seen it before.  
"Well.. it's definitely old. But it's really cool, creepy you could say. But it is kinda sad." She said.

"I would imagine. Frankenstein's monster was pretty misunderstood."

She nodded in agreement. Bro this was perfect.

Until.

You know who shows up.

Dylan made his way over with his tray, sitting down and making a ketchup puddle with packets.

"Hey Millie. And hello, you aree?"

"...(Y/N)"

I glanced back over to Millie and immediately saw how angry and uncomfortable she was. She had a bit of edge in her voice.

"How can you just sit across from me like that?"

Dylan seemed completely unbothered. Looks like he doesn't know. Ugh. I stayed silent, listening to their conversation.

"...Like what? I sit here every day."  
"I would think you'd want to sit with Brooke."  
"Brooke has a different lunch period than me."  
"So, I'm what? Your backup? Her understudy?!"  
Dylan rubbed his face.  
"I'm trying to keep up; I really am. But you're not making any sense."  
"Dylan, I saw you. With her. At the bazaar last night."  
"Yeah, so?"  
"...You were holding hands. You were clearly together."  
"..Yeah, so?"

Then Dylan's eyes went wide and I swear I wanted to rip those stupid glasses off his face and whack him with them.  
"Wait, Millie, did you think you and I were... dating?"

It was clear Millie was trying to hold back tears by how wet her eyes were. My heart just about shattered.

"You _noticed_ me. Brought me a book. Took me out for tea. Of course I thought we might. In the future. Date, I mean."

"Wow, I'm sorry if I misled you. I mean, you're really great and really pretty and everything, but I never-"

"That's disgusting." I cut in.

Dylan and Millie looked to me. It's almost like they forgot I was there.

"...Excuse me?" Dylan asked.  
"The things you're saying? Ew. You're making her feel like a piece of shit here, nice going." I could feel rage coursing throughout every vein.  
"I was just-"  
"No. Just stop. God, the human body has seven trillion nerves and you manage to get on every single fucking one. It's obvious that she had feelings for you. How come you didn't see that? You were practically the light of her life! You guys have been friends for what? Damn near a month now! And you never even once mentioned your girlfriend? It's like you _want_ to mislead her! Is that what you're doing?"

"No, I-"

"Then shut the hell up and give her some space before I drown you in your ketchup."

I swear, I could almost hear a bit of a snort from Millie like she wanted to laugh. Dylan huffed and stood up, looking between the two of us a bit angrily.  
"Fine, whatever."  
And he picked up his tray and walks away.

I sighed. "Jeez, I thought he'd never leave-"  
"Thank you." Millie quietly said. 

"..What?"

  
"Thank you. For doing that... I was so dreading seeing him today and.. I-.. I don't know."  
"Dude no, you have nothing to thank me for. He was seriously pissing me off anyway. He never once mentioned Brooke?"  
Millie shook her head.  
"Then whatever happened is on him. That's screwed up... listen Millie, I know you still have feelings for him... but sometimes you need to let go of people like that. That take up too much of your thoughts and your time and really? They're not worth it. The more you just.. accept it and stop thinking about them, the better." 

"...But how do you stop liking somebody when they really haven't done anything wrong?"

I could feel my heart ache. Because deep down?

I didn't know.

"...I... I don't know. But Dylan did do something wrong. He didn't tell you about his _girlfriend."_

Millie sighed sadly, looking down a bit.  
"...I guess you're right."

I got up and walked around the table to sit beside her and wrapped her into a hug. To my surprise once again, she hugged back. Then she pulled away and I looked at her a bit confused.

"...You smell like... Christmas or something." She said.

"That's winter spice and pear, baby~"

She started laughing and I joined her. It felt so good. Was she mine finally? Perhaps.

We had talked the rest of the lunch period, and we even walked together to our period together, still talking about random topics. Books, zits, cemeteries, her poems, my art. The usual. It was almost hard to focus as I kept sort of making funny faces to her across the classroom. Same went for next period. 

Yes, I do believe she's mine. All mine.


End file.
